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SUNDAY WORLD December 19,
1999
EXCLUSIVE: Boyzone star opens his heart about his
new-found happiness
since telling the world he is gay.
COMING OUT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID
Interview by Larrissa Nolan
Stephen tells of his love for hunky boyfriend Eloy
'He's absolutely perfect for me… and my family loves him'
SUPPORT: Stephen Gately was bowled over with the level of support
he
received from his fellow band members and the thousands of fans
who stood by him when it was revealed he is gay. The Boyzone star
says
he would now love to adopt children with his lovely Eloy de Jong.
THIS time last year, Stephen Gately could have never have dreamed
of the
happiness that lay ahead for him.
To outsiders, the Boyzone heart-throb appeared to have everything
in
life - a great job, huge success and plenty of money.
But for all his wealth and fame, Stephen Gately was miserable at
heart.
He had a dark secret that could ruin his career if it ever came
out -
and the strain of hiding it was killing him.
While the other members of Boyzone were settling down and having
babies,
Stephen seemed to be the lonely odd-man out.
But he too had found his special someone, a person he describes
as
"absolutely perfect for me ". The only problem
was… that person was a man.
With millions of female fans all over the globe, Stephen thought
he
couldn't afford to admit he was gay.
Boyzone would surely be finished if the world had found out that
Stephen
Gately was dating strapping hunk Eloy de Jong of the Dutch boy
band
Caught In The Act.
The 23-year-old Dubliner spent his days worrying about what would
happen
when his homosexuality finally became known.
He didn't have long to wait. Last June, Gately found himself on
the
front page of an English newspaper under the headline: 'Boyzone
Stephen:
I'm Gay And In Love.'
Warned
It certainly wasn't the way the star wanted to break the news but
he'd
had no choice, once the paper warned him that a former security
guard
was trying to sell the story to tabloids.
Gately gave the paper and interview and then sat back and waited
for the
storm to break.
It turned out to be the best move of his life. He's currently
enjoying
the new-found joy of no longer having to pretend and the freedom
to sing
out about his love for Eloy.
It's Gately's first major relationship and he is in love. They
moved in
together in Amsterdam and have exchanged gold commitment rings.
"He's six-foot-three, brown eyes, brown hair, 26 and very
kind. We've
been going out for 15 months and he's absolutely perfect for me.
My
family loves him," says Stephen.
The couple would like to have kids. "If there was a way open
to adopt,
I'd do it. I'd love love to give a kid an opportunity," he
says.
The only downside to Steve's relationship with a man is the fact
that he
can never be a dad.
Backstage at a UK concert this week, Stephen told the Sunday
World that
his greatest wish is to be allowed to adopt children. "I
feel I am good
with them and I have great fun with my sister's child and my
brother's
child, so yes, I would like to have them in my own life.
"I've been very fortunate in my life that my career in pop
has been so
successful and I'm now financially secure. I would love to be
allowed to
give a child an opportunity."
Keith, who is sitting in the background, interrupts to champion
Steve's
ability to rear children. "You should see him with kids, he
brilliant.
My Jordan loves him."
Although the decision to "come out" was difficult at
the time, Gately is
now glad that everyone knows he's gay.
"I was really nervous because I didn't know which way it
would go," he
says. "It could have been really bad or really positive. The
worst-case
scenario was that the public wouldn't support me."
The worst-case scenario never happened. Boyzone fans are fiercely
protective and they rallied around Gately in his hour of need.
"I couldn't believe the reaction. I got millions of e-mails
and letters
from people in all walks of life - young, old, gay, straight,
some from
gay people who hadn't come out and didn't know what to do.
"All these letters, I've got boxes of them. When I feel a
bit down in
the morning, I'll get up and have some toast and coffee and read
a
couple. That much support for an individual is incredible."
Even his celebrity friends sent words of comfort. "Graham
Norton sent a
beautiful letter, Elton sent flowers, George Michael rang and
… um …even
Billy Connolly said 'Who gives a shit?'
"There's been no homophobia at all except from the odd
slagging from the
lads in the street, but let them."
Gately, who is the second youngest of a family of five from
Sheriff
Street, says he was "quiet and reflective" as a
youngster.
"I was into life and scenery and snowfalls. I would sit
wrapped up in a
duvet, watching the rain. I still like to. It costs nothing to
walk
around the park or read a book," he says.
Dating
Although he tried dating girls, he know by the age of 16 that
there was
something different about himself.
"I wasn't quite sure, but there were tell-tale signs. I'd
think: 'That
guy is good-looking' or I'd notice someone on television. It's
very
difficult for a young person. I didn't really know any gay people
as a kid."
Around this time, he answered an ad for five boys to perform in a
pop
group. He had taken singing and dancing lessons since the age of
12 but
he clinched the audition with his rendition of George Michael's
Careless Whisper.
He says he was never troubled by guilt. "I never thought of
it. I never
thought God would come down and say that I can't do this or that.
I went
to church and sang at Christmas mass, but I stopped going because
I
couldn't sit there bored out of my head for an hour.
"God forgives everything. This is the only life I have and
in a hundred
years time, who'll give a shit?"
Gately confided in his sister about his sexuality. She wasn't
surprised,
saying : "I always thought you were."
However, he kept the secret from the rest of Boyzone for the
first five
months, afraid that outing himself "would mean good-bye to
any chance of fame".
When he finally told them, he was relieved at their reaction -
the four
other Boyz assured him that it made no difference.
Feared
But they decided to keep the matter within the group as they
feared it
might affect their popularity.
So Stephen was forced into a life of pretence. Wary of starting a
relationship, he had "a few romances" but avoided
involvement because
"people would have found out".
He says he thought about his sexuality every day but just tried
to get
on with things.
"The first couple of years were mad anyway. We were
constantly working
in Japan, Europe, everywhere," he recalls.
It was during this time that he met Eloy from Caught In The Act,
who can
boast the status of being big in Germany.
They ran into each other at awards ceremonies and parties and
became
friends, although it took a few years before love blossomed.
But while he was falling in love. Gately had to put up with the
constant
stress of hiding his sexuality.
"Sometimes I'd be grouchy and friends would say 'Are you OK
Stephen?'
and I'd be thinking 'no, there's a problem but I can't tell
you'," he says.
"For the first few years it wasn't so much of a problem but
in the last
few, when we got bigger with more attention, it got harder."
To cover for Stephen's lack of girlfriends, his name was often
linked
with high-profile women.
"There were so-called links between myself and Emma Bunton
and one of
the girls from Eternal and Mandy Smith," he says. "We
were just mates,
but when you're seen going for a drink with somebody, you get
seen as a couple.
"When a story would break with Mandy or Emma, it would
certainly take
the pressure off for a while."
Steve points out proudly that he never actually lied to the
public when
questioned about his love life.
"People would ask about my favourite girls and I'd describe
a man I
fancied - blue eyes, brown hair, whatever," he says.
"I always said 'the right person' never 'the girl'. But I
used to be
paranoid that people would know. I'd e down in the dumps, being
in the
public for six years and always having to explain why I didn't
have a girlfriend."
The newspaper story revealing his sexuality changed all that
though. But
since the subterfuge ended, he says he's never been happier.
"The story breaks and I couldn't believe it - little me from
Sheriff
Street on the cover of four papers," Stephen recalls.
"There are earthquakes in the world and bad things
everywhere, and
instead they put me on the cover. But people love to read about
famous people."
Stephen Gately's next project is his new album, aptly titled New
Beginning. He says it won't be a radical change from the Boyzone
sound,
but he promises "a few surprises".